Morris Creature Files

Morris Creature Files

By Evan Douville, Feature Editor Originally published in Issue 4, Volume 32 of The University Register on Friday, October 25, 2019

Disclaimer: any people, places, or things described in this article are a work of fiction, and any relation to real people or places, living or otherwise, is purely coincidental.

I’ve gone rogue from the UR. I’ve submitted a dummy article for this week about fun Halloween events in hopes they wouldn’t find this article. I don’t have much time, but the UMM campus needs to be made aware of what I’ve seen. There are monsters here. Monsters beyond imagining. These are the Morris Creature Files. I found them in the basement of the Humanities building. They’re dated around 2016, with the letters “MCF” on them. There’s a name on the file header: “Alive, Unloved.” Perhaps it’s a message? Inside I found three files with four pictures, detailing a personnel or entity found on the Morris campus, ranging from harmless to potentially dangerous. The rest were all redacted, crossed out in black marker, though these are mostly legible. Read at your own risk: who knows how long until this paper’s recalled. Maybe I’m lucky. I wasn’t a victim of theirs: if you find any of these beings, let’s hope you don’t end up that way, too. I have transcribed the files as I have read them. Some information was redacted.

MCF 1099: “The Banshee and the Flagpole”

MCF 1099 is a twenty-five foot aluminum flagpole, located just outside the student center. It is coated in a thin layer of an unidentified chemical with a similar composition to psilocybin, typically found in [Redacted]. The chemical is non-toxic and harmless to normal passerby, though the anomalous effects of being within proximity of the chemical (labeled herein as MCF 1099-1) take effect between the 2100 and 0600 hours. Normally, any passers who inhale or smell the chemical on MCF 1099 exhibit no anomalous qualities, however during the above time-frame the effects are enhanced to an observable degree.

Roughly five minutes after exposure, MCF 1099-1 fully infects the bloodstream, causing extreme anxiety, paranoia, and in rare cases, hallucinations.

The hallucination experienced (labeled herein as MCF 1099-α) is recurring, and consistent across all tested subjects. It has not been observed by passerby who do not linger near MCF 1099, so it will not be labeled as its own subject. However, it is prevalent enough to be caused by MCF 1099 that a description is warranted.

MCF 1099-α is a humanoid figure approximately 0.6 meters in height, with facial deformities and white hair. It appears to be exiting the HFA across from the flagpole, MCF 1099. The figure will appear to blink in and out of the observer’s viewpoint, appearing in the peripheral vision. If observed for more than twenty seconds, MCF 1099-α will proceed to emit a scream of around 90 decibels, instilling fear and paranoia into the listener. Those who’ve heard it describe it as a relatively cheerful scream, though further questions seem to imply a sense of dread as well. MCF 1099-α has not been reported to attack humans, though prolonged exposure to its scream has been observed to cause temporary loss of hearing and insomnia.

One instance of an attack caused by MCF 1099-α resulted in at least one student’s hospitalization. According to reports from the Stevens County Medical Center, the student demonstrated several sharp scratch marks and burns down their face.

At all times, at least one Morris personnel, usually located in Behmler Hall, is to observe the flagpole at all given times in case MCF 1099-α chooses to attack. In the event of a vision-obscuring blizzard, the personnel is to advise the chancellor to close campus. No less than three (3) Morris personnel are to continuously observe MCF 1099 until the storm subsides, to be posted in the Student Center Alumni Room, the third floor of the Humanities Building, and [REDACTED]. In the event of a student exposure to MCF 1099-1, Morris personnel are advised to send at least one student personnel to guide the student away from MCF 1099.

MCF 4284: “The Grave Eater”

MCF 4284 is a humanoid entity roughly 1.7 meters in height, taking on the appearance of a normal caucasian male. During the day, MCF 4284 acts as a normal studio art student specializing in ceramics. After 2200 hours., MCF 4284 will go to the graveyard behind the HFA and search for sustenance, usually taking to consuming local birds and other small mammals. MCF 4284 has also taken to exhuming graves located in the graveyard. Any graves it digs up will be swiftly replaced with fresh dirt and grass, giving the illusion of an undisturbed grave. MCF 4284 has been observed with markings of blood along its face and torso. A survey conducted on MCF 4284 has confirmed once its consumption of human entrails, though the exact nature of this consumption is unknown.

MCF 4284 does not communicate through normal means; observations made of MCF 4284 have noted it communicates strictly through grunts and guttural noises, not responding directly to language, though it seems to be especially keen at discerning English. It emits a smell similar to that of animal feces at least three weeks of age. It does not need water or food of any kind, and any attempt to feed it has proven ineffective, as it does not seem attracted to the smell of ‘normal’ food.

Locals who’ve witnessed this entity have given it the moniker “Grave Eater” after the way it consumes bodies. If approached and surprised, MSCP 4284 will attack, typically eviscerating the body of its victim and consuming its entrails. This has led to the disappearance of at least three students between the years of 2007 to 2010. One attempt in 2009 to contain MSCP 4284 revealed that the student showed no signs of biological life: there was no heartbeat, no brain activity. The student was most likely under the effects of a parasitic virus (labeled herein as MSCP 4284-1). The virus is, thankfully, non-contagious, and appears to solely be contained within MSCP 4284. Any attempts at giving normal curative pharmaceuticals proved ineffective and inconclusive. MSCP 4284 has not appeared on campus after 2011, though its whereabouts are currently unknown.

Reports have been filed that it ap pears close to the St. Cloud area, though these claims are largely unsupported.

MCF 0001: “The Drifter”

MCF 0001 is a humanoid entity, roughly 1.8 meters in height, wearing a dark red cloak and a mask. The being is incorporeal, though visible to the naked eye. The entity moves between two buildings: Camden and the HFA. Its movement is slow, giving it the appearance of “drifting” between the two buildings. Locals who have observed the entity have given it the moniker “The Drifter” due in part to its movement.

Attempts to communicate directly with the entity have proven unsuccessful. Reports from those who’ve witnessed MCF 0001 have heard soft singing, usually songs from [REDACTED]. The few original songs it sings, according to reports, mention “The Gates,” and are sung in a manner indicative of formal jazz training. Articles from Stevens County dating back to the early 2000s suggest that “The Drifter” is the spirit of one Daniel Cyrkowski, a student from Morris who died due to unforeseen health complications. His work in the history discipline as well as music made him a popular force on campus. His interests indicated specifically Morris history, and the methods of convening with the spiritual realm. His passing, however, went largely unnoticed by the campus community.

MCF 0001 is largely safe, and seems to lack vengeful intent. Prolonged exposure to its song may induce a sense of unease and paranoia in the listener, which usually vanishes over the course of 24 hours. The few who’ve recorded its songs find the files to be corrupted or the audio to be replaced with a quiet baritone saxophone. To prevent provocation, the walkways between Camden and the HFA are strongly encouraged to be avoided between 0100 and 0300 hours.

I haven’t heard reports of these anywhere around campus. UMM must be hiding something. Read these. Educate yourselves. I’ve hidden the folder at the following coordinates: [REDACTED]. Find them before the feds do. I’m not long for this school, I know too much.