Variety

By Desmond Homann, Variety Editor Originally published in Issue 2, Volume 32 of The University Register on Friday, September 28, 2019

For those of you who may not know, The University Register has been publishing issues since the 1970’s! Through the years, Variety has been full of all sorts of d...

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By Desmond Homann, Variety Editor Originally published in Issue 1, Volume 32 of The University Register on Friday, September 13, 2019

Perhaps it would be more appropriate to call this “Desmond: Frenemy of Horses” as I have a bit of a secret to reveal. As regular University Register readers may k...

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By Evan Douville, Staff WriterOriginally published in Issue 11, Volume 31 of The University Register on Friday, April 5.

Ominous cowbells loomed in the front of the Cow Palace as Tupac blared on the display. People were lined up for Rat Skewers, Toxic Waste, and Pigs in Radiation Blankets, snacks...

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By Evan Douville, Staff Writer_Originally published in Issue 10, Volume 31 of The University Register on Friday, March 8, 2019.

Dear God, director Jeff Fowler, and a Mr. Sonic T. Hedgehog,

What in the actual hell were you thinking?

Sorry, let me rephrase that. What in the actual literal god-f...

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By Evan Douville, Staff WriterOriginally published in Issue 8, Volume 31 of The University Register on Friday, February 8, 2019

A small drop of water can still create a massive ripple. That’s exactly what happened on January 18, 2019, when one man sat in his house for 57 hours straight doing noth...

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By Desmond Homann, Variety Editor originally published in Issue 7, Volume 31 of The University Register on Friday, December 7, 2018

There’s something strangely heartbreaking about those dreams that feel so real yet always escape your grasp in the end. These dreams, whether calm or depicting grea...

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By Desmond Homann, Variety Editor originally published in Issue 5, Volume 31 of The University Register on Friday, November 9, 2018

In a forest, quietly shining, the sun dances down through the foliage above to show the path you need to take. You came here long ago, maybe just a year or two befo...

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Silver Screen

Silver Screen

By Evan Douville, Contributor originally published in Issue 3, Volume 31 of The University Register on Friday, October 12, 2018

“Whuh…what am I doing here?”

I awoke with a start, a cold sweat running down my back. My hair was in my face, and drenched in sweat. I pushed it out of my eyes, only...

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Room 139

Room 139

By Desmond Homann, Variety Editor originally published in Issue 2, Volume 31 of The University Register on September 28, 2018

The fall semester this year had only just begun, and I found myself falling into place with my schedule quite quickly. I never really believed in karma or anything like t...

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By Desmond Homann, Variety Editor originally published in Issue 2, Volume 31 of The University Register on September 28, 2018

Philip: Lover of Horses is a serial exploration of my strong distrust of horses. The first three parts of this atrocity were published last year in some of the later issu...

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